The 16 Bonding Styles

Many-to-Many

Many-to-Many Bonders seek to share their romantic and/or sexual attention with a group, network, or community of interrelated partners. This may look like a set of friends, a close knit family, or an extended community support network. While people within the group know each other, or at least are not excluded from each other, bonding between individuals may take a variety of forms. Regardless, Many-to-Many bonding occurs with the group itself as much as with any set of specific individuals.  

Comfortable Many-to-Many

As a Comfortable Many-to-Many bonder, you prefer to share your romantic and/or sexual attention with a group, network, or community of inter-relating partners. In a way that feels easy and “natural,” you are comfortable giving and receiving attention within the context of a greater, self-aware whole. You actively look forward to how giving to this group or network can bring more happiness and fulfillment to your and your partner(s)’ bonding. Not putting yourself first, and listening to the needs of the group, gives you a sense of promise and possibility. You are fully game for the dialogues, understandings, sharing, and even seeming sacrifices between yourself and the group that enable well-being both of the individuals therein and the group itself.

Curious Many-to-Many

As a Curious Many-to-Many bonder, you are open and interested to share your romantic and/or sexual attention with a group, network, or community of inter-relating partners. In a way that feels interesting and maybe a little exciting, you are open to giving and receiving attention within the context of a greater, self-aware whole. You’re not sure exactly how giving to this group or network can bring more happiness and fulfillment to your bonding, let alone the other group members -- but you are game to find out! Not putting yourself first, and listening to the needs of the group, feels new and maybe has potential. You are up for the dialogues, understandings, sharing, and even seeming sacrifices between yourself and the group that might enable well-being both of the individuals therein and the group as a whole.

Cautious Many-to-Many

As a Cautious Many-to-Many bonder, you are open yet skeptical to share your romantic and/or sexual attention with a group, network, or community of inter-relating partners. In a way that feels interesting and maybe a bit scary, you are open to giving and receiving attention within the context of a greater, self-aware whole. You don’t know if you are up for the dialogues, understandings, sharing, and even seeming sacrifices between yourself and the group that might enable well-being both of the individuals therein and the group as a whole. Not putting yourself first, and listening to the needs of the group, feels possibly weird or even overwhelming. To be honest, you’re not exactly sure how giving to this group or network can bring more happiness and fulfillment to your bonding, let alone the other group members -- but with the right support, incentive, and safety, you would be game to find out. 

Challenged Many-to-Many

As a Challenged Many-to-Many bonder, you are highly skeptical about sharing your romantic and/or sexual attention with a group, network, or community of inter-relating partners. The idea itself gives you a negative reaction, and/or you don’t trust what you see as examples in the world around you. Maybe you’ve tried this bonding type and are sure it’s not for you. There may also be material, emotional, and safety reasons why Many-to-Many bonding feels like an ill fit for you. For any number of reasons, you would approach Many-to-Many bonding with a significant degree of mistrust, doubt, and fear. Many-to-Many bonding would require highly specific circumstances and outside support for it to work for you.