The 16 Bonding Styles

Solo

Solo bonders value autonomy and agency over traditional forms of security within bonding. They seek independence in how they share their romantic and/or sexual attention. This may be because they’re more free-spirited in nature, or they have other commitments, like family, health, and/or career, that take priority and require flexibility in their bonding. Solo Bonders question default assumptions: They generally expect to be free of partner expectations and assumptions that fall outside of their specific arrangements and agreements. Solo bonders clearly assume “personal autonomy” for themselves and for their partner(s), prior to setting any other expectations about their behavior or the partnership(s). 

Comfortable Solo

As a Comfortable Solo bonder, you prefer to construct your world of bonding outside of any assumptions or expectations to which you haven’t specifically agreed. How you bond may “look like” any other bonding style, or be completely original to you. The important thing is that you have the freedom to make the agreements and arrangements you want with your partner(s) free from convention and a priori ideas. You are fully game for the dialogues and agreements between yourself and any partner(s) to find an arrangement that works for you.

Curious Solo

As a Curious Solo bonder, you’re interested and maybe a bit excited to construct your world of bonding outside of any assumptions or expectations to which you haven’t specifically agreed. What would it be like to step away from any preset ideas about bonding and listen just to your personal preferences, full stop? You’re game to find out. How you bond may “look like'' any other bonding style, or be completely original to you. What you’re curious to explore is the freedom to make the agreements and arrangements you want with your partner(s) unattached to convention and a priori ideas. You are game to see what dialogues and agreements between yourself and any partner(s) could create an overall arrangement that would work for you. 

Cautious Solo

As a Cautious Solo bonder, the thought of constructing your world of bonding outside of any pre-existing assumptions or expectations feels interesting, and maybe a bit scary. What would it be like to step away from any preset ideas or conventions about bonding and just follow your personal preferences, full stop? If you were to find out through full-on Solo bonding, you’d want some advice and support. It feels weird and maybe a little overwhelming that how you bond doesn’t have to “look like” anything familiar, if you don’t want it to. All told, you are skeptical yet open to see what dialogues and agreements between yourself and any partner(s) could create an overall arrangement that would work for you. 

Challenged Solo

As a Challenged Solo bonder, you are highly skeptical about constructing your world of bonding outside of any pre-existing assumptions or expectations. The idea itself gives you a negative reaction, and/or you don’t trust what you see as examples in the world around you. Maybe you’ve tried this bonding type and are sure it’s not for you. There may also be material, emotional, and safety reasons why Solo bonding sounds like an ill fit for you. For any number of reasons, you would approach Solo bonding with a significant degree of mistrust, doubt, and fear. Solo bonding would require highly specific circumstances and outside support for it to work for you.