The 16 Bonding Styles

One-to-one

One-to-One bonders seek to share their romantic and sexual attention with one other person only. Likewise, they receive this attention from that one other person, and no one else. Their partner may also share exclusively with them, or their partner may bond with others as well, depending on the particular bond. Regardless of their partner’s bonding type, the One-to-One bonder prefers that they themselves give and receive their own energy, attention, and intention with one other person.

For a bit more, see THE 4 TYPES OF BONDING

Comfortable One-to-One

As a Comfortable One-to-One bonder, you prefer to share your romantic and/or sexual attention with one single partner. In a way that feels easy and “natural,” you are comfortable focusing on and receiving attention from one single person. You are also comfortable with NOT sharing your attention with other people than your partner. To some this looks like “exclusivity,” with a potentially negative connotation. You, however, find it both genuinely preferable and relatively straight-forward to direct your intentions and your actions within your One-to-One bond.

Curious One-to-One

As a Curious One-to-One bonder, you are open and interested to share your romantic and/or sexual attention with one single partner. In a way that feels interesting and maybe a little exciting, you are open to focusing on and receiving attention from one single person. You are also interested to see what happens when NOT sharing your attention with other people than your partner. You feel mildly ambivalent about bonding with “exclusivity,” with both positive and negative connotations. Given the right person and circumstances, however, you would happily open to directing your intentions and your actions within a One-to-One bond.  

Cautious One-to-One

As a Cautious One-to-One bonder, you are open yet skeptical about sharing your romantic and/or sexual attention with one single partner. In a way that feels interesting yet maybe a little scary or limiting, you are open to a dialogue about focusing on and receiving attention from one single person. You feel strongly ambivalent about bonding with “exclusivity,” with both positive and negative connotations. You may also have a few caveats and/or boundaries that would be important to maintain within a One-to-One bond. Given the right person, circumstances, and perhaps an outside means of support, you would open to an honest experiment in which you directed your intentions and your actions within a One-to-One bond.  

Challenged One-to-One

As a Challenged One-to-One bonder, you are highly skeptical about sharing your romantic and/or sexual attention with one single partner. The idea itself gives you a negative reaction, and/or you don’t trust what you see as examples in the world around you. Maybe you’ve tried this bonding type and are sure it’s not for you. There may also be material, emotional, and safety reasons why One-to-One bonding sounds like an ill fit for you. For any number of reasons, you would approach One-to-One bonding with a significant degree of mistrust and fear. One-to-One bonding would require highly specific circumstances and outside support for it to work for you.